Autumn
Znidarsic
Creative
Writing
Prof.
Olsen
Curtain
Rises:
Jillian:
This is the first time I’ve ever witnessed you knock on a door.
It threw me off guard. Come
here. (They both go in for a hug.)
Annette:
So how’s my little sis been? Damn,
you look so much older. Where have I
been?
Jillian:
You tell me. The only time I
ever see you is on holidays.
Annette:
Well, you know me. (Raises
her hands in the air, moving her hips side to side.)
I got places to go and people to do.
Jillian:
(Laughing and shaking her head.)
You’re a nut and a half.
Annette:
Yeah, well nuts don’t fall that far from each other.
(Both girls laugh.)
Jillian:
True.
Did you see Mom?
Annette:
(Laying down on the bed as if exhausted.)
Yeah, she’s downstairs makin us gingerbread cookies.
Same old mom, still treatin us like we’re little girls.
Jillian:
I know. She calls me three
times a day when I’m away at school and every time we hang up with each other
she starts to cry. She just can’t
get over that we’re grown up now.
Annette:
We certainly are. (Walks
over to the dressers with all the ribbons and medals and starts reading them off.)
Jillian Bailey, National Honors Society. Jillian Bailey,
Jillian:
Be quiet.
Annette:
Look at this picture. You and
that green dress. I think you wore
that every single day that year. Anytime
mom told you to change you’d refuse. You
were always so strong in your convictions.
Jillian:
Yes I was. But I knew my
place. For the most part I played by
the rules. You on the other hand
were a delinquent to say the least. I’m
surprised Mom didn’t disown you. (Both
girls laugh.)
Annette:
Hey, I may have disobeyed Mom and snuck out of the house on more than one
occasion but…
Jillian:
(Cutting her off.) More
than one occasion? Sometimes I
forgot I had a sister.
Annette:
I was there when it mattered, like the holidays.
(Giggles.)
Jillian:
(Under her breath.) Not
much has changed. (There is a
knock at the door.)
Jillian
and Annette: COME
IN MOM! (Mom Bailey enters
wearing a red sweater with a reindeer on the front.
She brings gingerbread cookies with her.)
Mom:
Hi girls. Made ya some
cookies, and here are some clean towels. (Puts
the towels on the bed.) You
girls better get to sleep or Santa is going to pass this house by.
(The girls look at each other and smile.)
I have to get to bed because I have to get up bright and early to start
the turkey. (Kisses each girl
goodnight. Breaths a sigh of relief
as she hugs Annette.) It’s
good to have you home Annie. It’s
good to have both of you home. My
little girls! (She runs out of
the room as the tears start to well up. The
girls roll their eyes.)
Annette:
That woman should just walk around with a box of Kleenex hangin around
her neck.
Jillian:
She just misses you Annette…and so do I.
Annette:
Well I miss you guys too. People
get busier when they get older. It
happens. I’m here when it…
Jillian:
(Before Annette can finish.) When
it matters, I know. (There is a
long pause.) So, where are you
living now?
Annette:
Um, with a couple people in this apartment up north.
Jillian:
Are you working?
Annette:
I have a couple side things going on. Ya
know, waitressin here and there. It
pays the bills.
Jillian:
Who are these people you’re staying with?
Annette:
Jesus, Jillian! What’s with
all the questions? Do I win a prize?
Jillian:
I just want to know what my sister is doing with herself.
I feel like I don’t even know you anymore.
Annette:
Look, I live in a place with some nice people and I waitress.
Let’s leave it at that.
Jillian:
Why are you so secretive? What
do you have to hide?
Annette:
Nothin, Jilly. I’m just the
sort of person who enjoys a little privacy.
I don’t need to showcase my life like you do.
Jillian:
Whoa! Just because I’ve
achieved some things in my life that I’m proud of does not give you the right
to cut me down because of it.
Annette:
(Regretful.) You’re right.
I’m sorry. I shouldn’t
have said that. I’m so proud of
everything you’ve accomplished. I
wish I could be more like you. I’ve
always said that. You’re strong.
You never gave into your weaknesses.
Hell, you probably don’t even have any weaknesses.
Jillian:
Believe me, Annette, I have weaknesses.
Annette:
Well you don’t give into them. You’re
strong-willed. Remember that time
Mom went to
Jillian:
Yeah.
Annette:
You wouldn’t go no matter how hard I tried to convince you.
You didn’t give in. You
knew what was right and you weren’t pressured into it.
Jillian:
Nah, I was just an uptight, geek.
Annette:
No, you were head strong and responsible.
And you even covered for me when Mom called.
AND that made you my best friend. You
did a lot for me growing up.
Jillian:
Well, you actually were my best friend.
After Dad left, I felt so abandoned, but you stepped in and made me feel
like I’d be alright without him, that we would all be alright without
him…and we were.
Annette:
Hey, boys come and go and even fathers leave, but sisters are bonded
together, no matter what distance they are apart from each other.
Jillian:
I just wish we didn’t have to be so far apart from each other.
Maybe you could come back here to live.
I miss you, Mom misses you…
Annette:
Here we go again.
Jillian:
I just can’t see why your life has to be so separate from ours.
Families are supposed to be together.
I don’t even know where you are half the time.
Is life so much better away from us?
Annette:
That’s not it. You
wouldn’t understand Jilly.
Jillian:
What’s that supposed to mean, Annette?
I’m so beneath you, so inferior to you that I wouldn’t understand?
Annette:
I can’t deal with this right now.
Jillian:
I’m your sister. Why
can’t you trust me? If only you…
Annette:
(Cutting Jillian off.) FUCK!
I’m trying to stay clean, OK!
Jillian:
(A long pause. She walks
over and sits next to Annette on the bed.)
Annette:
I’m tryin, Jilly, I’m tryin. (Begins
to cry into her hands.) I’m
really tryin.
Jillian:
I’m sorry Annie. I thought
you were done with that stuff. I
didn’t…
Annette:
Yeah, well, its not that simple.
Jillian:
So, that’s where you’re staying?
A place that helps you stop?
Annette:
A rehab? Yeah.
Except it should be called a re-rehabilitation center because
I’ve tried so many damn times to stop.
Jillian:
How many times?
Annette:
Well, I’ve tried to quit on my own about a gazillion times and this
will be my 3rd time in an actual rehab. (She
wipes her tears away and sniffles.) Mom’s
the crier, not me.
Jillian:
So what do they do for you there?
Annette:
Well, the main thing is just keepin us away from the substances.
I mean, if you don’t have access to them then you cant do them, right?
That’s the hard part. Besides
that, we talk to counselors or talk in group meetings.
They try to get inside our heads and figure out why we are tryin to
destroy ourselves. It’s not that I
don’t want to stop. I do.
I’d give anything to go back to that day.
The first time I did it and say “no.”
To be more like you and not give into other people.
I'd give anything to go back, anything.
I’ve wanted to stop, Jilly, for so long…but I couldn’t.
Jillian:
When was that day?
Annette:
It was senior year. In
Georgie McCabe’s basement. He hung
out with older people and they were always comin and goin at his place.
We’d smoke pot and drink a little but that was usually as far as it
went. But then one day, one of the
older guys, I cant even remember his name or what he looked like, all I remember
is the little baggy full of white powder that he pulled from his jacket.
They started to pass around a syringe.
I knew it was wrong, Jill. I
knew it, but I did it anyway. I
thought, “Well, it can’t hurt to try it once.”
But once turned into twice and then three times and I was hooked.
Before I knew it I was doing it every week.
I mean, there were times that I’d go for months without doing it
because I just couldn’t get it, or I was broke.
I would get real shaky and moody if I couldn’t have it.
I missed half of senior year... Do you remember that?
Jillian:
Of course I remember that. I
was worried about you. No one ever
talked to me about it though. I was
just a dumb kid. People don’t
think kids pick up on things but I think they’re the most aware. I knew
something serious was wrong. And
then one day I overheard a discussion about you and drugs and that Mom was going
to have you sent to Aunt Kathy’s in N.Y.
Annette:
Yeah, I wouldn’t go though. That
was durin the summer after I left school, and that’s when I left here.
I was so against the notion that I had a problem.
I couldn’t fathom that I was actually hurtin myself, because it felt so
good doing it. Anytime I had a
problem, it was there for me. But
this thing that was making me feel so good was actually killin me.
I was addicted. It wasn’t
until a year ago that I decided for myself that I needed help.
I was living in a disgusting house with people I hardly knew, and
stealing money left and right just to get a fix.
I had no job, no friends, I couldn’t come home.
I had nothing.
Jillian:
You could’ve come home Annie
Annette:
You wouldn’t have even recognized me, Jilly.
I was skin and bones. I was
barely coherent. I doubt I
could’ve even found my way home. I
felt dead to the world.
Jillian:
So how did you end up at the rehab?
Annette:
Well, I found my way to a shelter and spent the night.
I was so desperate for a fix that I tried to steal a dollar from some
woman’s pocket. A dollar!
She flipped out, I flipped out, and they took me down to the police
station. I was probably sitting,
handcuffed to a chair for about 3 hours before this social worker came and
talked to me. I don’t even think
she was assigned to me. I think she
was just passin by. Anyway, she
helped me out and got the charges dropped as long as I agreed to go into rehab.
She could tell I was messed up. Anyone
could.
Jillian:
And you’ve been there ever since?
Annette:
No, I was in and out. Some
days I thought I could do it, and other days I said, “Fuck the world” and
gave up. Finally, one day I was in
an “I can do it” mood and I didn’t give up.
It’s been a year now. I get
to leave every once in a while but whenever I feel urges I go back in.
I don’t trust myself, I shouldn’t.
This drug is so evil that it makes you not trust yourself.
If I can’t trust myself, how can I trust other people?
That’s why I was so afraid to tell you.
That, and the intense fear of looking like a complete, pathetic, junky,
loser, which I know I am.
Jillian:
You’re not a loser. You
overcame something many others cannot and never will, something that so many
others die from. You’re a
survivor.
Annette:
Well, I still have a long way to go before I feel safe again, before I
can live life and not be afraid of somethin else taking it away from me.
Jillian:
I can’t believe you’ve been through so much and I didn’t even know
about it. I wasn’t there to help
you.
Annette:
Nobody could’ve helped me but myself, Jilly.
That’s the hardest thing to accept when you know someone with an
addiction.
Jillian:
So what happens now?
Annette:
I just take it one day at a time. Every
day is a struggle but I’m thankful for every day I have left.
Jillian:
So am I. (Jillian breaks
down and grabs Annette.) I know
you’ll be okay. You have to be.
I cant live without you.
Annette:
I’m not goin anywhere, Jilly. (They
embrace.) I’m not going
anywhere. (They hug for a few
moments.) Now let’s get to
bed. You know Mom’ll be waking us
up at the butt crack of dawn to help her with the Bailey Feast.
Jillian:
(They get up and begin preparing for bed.)
Yeah you’re right. (Wipes
the tears from her eyes.) Ya know,
I’m glad we talked about this. I
felt like I was losing you.
Annette:
You’re not losing me. You’re
only gaining me back. I’m slowly
gaining myself back. (The girls
climb into their beds and shut the lights out.
They lay there awake for a moment, thinking to themselves. At the same
time they breath a deep sigh of relief, as if a great weight has been lifted
from them.) Night, Jilly Bean.
Jillian:
Goodnight, Annie